Izzy
This blog post is an aggregation of a series of emails between Sue Levene, Marilyn Bar-Or and Geri Dogmetchi in which they share memories of Israel Isidore Elberg (later changed to Elbery). Izzy, as he was called, was the elder brother of Debbie, née Elbery, wife of Gabriel Smith.
Sue:
I am the eldest grandchild of Aunty Debbie’s elder brother Isadore Elbery from his second marriage to my maternal grandmother, Martha Barron. We are the Irish connection and some of you will no doubt remember my uncles, Harry and Jack Elbery, from Isadore’s first marriage.
Martha and Isadore had two daughters, Sybil and Alma; Alma was my mother. They separated when my mother was two years old and we were estranged from the rest of the family for many years.
Neither myself, my younger sister Gillian, or my cousins - Sybil's daughters, Diana and Andrea - ever knew our grandfather or have even seen a photo of him. I know he spent time with Gabriel and I believe they even worked together at some point in Ireland. I would love to know if any of the family have any photos of him tucked away as my cousins and I would love to see what he looked like.
Marilyn:
I actually remember Uncle Izzy. I think he wore (outside) a sort of Trilby hat. He was a broad-shouldered man of medium height, but heck, I was only about five, I think. I remember him in Bournemouth during WWII, 1943-1946-ish - and only for a brief period.
Uncle Izzy was by profession a milliner. However, he had 'golden hands' and could do many things. Two miraculous inventions were banana spread and chocolate spread. The 'banana' spread was made with parsnips: I have NO IDEA what he used for the chocolate spread -remember, we had rationing. Nat Temple, who was in the army, probably in ENSA, the music/band section, was in service and brought back a small bunch of very small bananas from Italy. All we children received a half of a banana. (Uncle Izzy's ersatz version wasn't bad!)
Ireland! As I understood it, there had been some sort of peddling(?) effort made by
Uncle Max, possibly Uncle Julius (Sar, Scotland), and Uncle Jack Elbery (Debbie's brother).
I heard they had been selling spectacles, possibly with plain glass for lenses (this may be apocryphal but maybe not?). Geri - do you have any knowledge of your Dad's youthtime past?
At different times, Izzy invented special 'garments' made with Thermogene. I think it was orange coloured, some sort of fibre that could be inserted into different forms of flannel pockets and hung about one's body parts to help against rheumatism. Either Izzy or 'the boys' also had a business selling marcasite jewellery (I still own some samples of this).
At some stage, I met Jack and Harry. Jack was the elder and rather a bluff chap. At one stage he came to live in London and in the 50s worked as a bouncer(?) or in some management role(?) at an Irish club or dancehall in Cricklewood, I think. (My brother's wife, Denyse, might remember him.)
Harry was rather timid, I think he had a tic or a stutter and was a sweet fellow. I don't think he ever came to live in London. Neither married. (I lived in Israel from 1959 so there are chunks of family history that I missed.) I don't remember ever having seen a photo of any of our Dublin gentlemen. I might recognise them in a photo.
And oh yes! Every year, like clockwork, an envelope would arrive at our home in Edgware with a certificate of participation in the Irish Sweepstakes. I don't know if Izzy sent these to anyone else. We never won anything, as far as I know.
So sorry, Sue. I know you would love to have some more tangible clues as to your Elbery grandfather. Are there any photos with Andie née Citron? Maybe some were taken in Bournemouth.
Sue:
Thank you, Marilyn, for these titbits from your internal memory banks. I will be sure to share them with my sister and cousins Diana and Andrea. I am obviously curious to know the whole truth, so let us see if this unearths any skeletons.
I had heard a few of these stories before when I met up some years back at the Elbery/Smith reunion we held near Liverpool Street. Diana and I had never met so many of our cousins before and were quite overwhelmed. I had been fortunate to meet up with the Aunts and Uncles at the Citron weddings but this reunion opened up a whole new generation for us.
Your memories of Jack and Harry - Izzy's sons [from his first marriage] - are spot on! Jack was quite a character and did live in London for a time. I understood that he did work in Irish clubs and was also some sort of boxing referee and bouncer. He was more outgoing and so different from Harry. Harry was so sweet and kind. He did have a tic as you said and always lived in Ireland. Neither of them ever married although we had our suspicions that his landlady was more than just a landlady but we never did find out. Jack eventually came back to Ireland to be with Harry. We knew Harry better and I always looked forward to his visits to our home. There always seemed to be a sadness about them both.
I have a photo of them taken in Dublin at my aunt's wedding in 1949. The gentlemen on the left and right were cousins on the Barron side of the family. Jack is second on left and Harry is on his right.
Geri:
Just to add to this thread of collective memory.
Jack Elbery - the Irish one - went to Las Vegas to be a croupier (or something like that). Came to visit us at Cholmley and brought us presents from The Sands hotel. I still have the keyring (red dice). I was not yet a teenager - maybe around 12? I don't know whether he went back to California or then went back to Ireland. My dad was not fond of his brother Izzy and spoke little of him. Lots of reasons I would guess at. Auntie Minnie (Marilyn, you will know more about this probably than I do, if your mum ever spoke about it), was sent to Dublin as a girl, around age 11 or 12, to look after Izzy's children. I don't know how long she was there for but definitely around the time of the Black and Tans and remembered hiding with the little children under the kitchen table during the fighting.
As far as the spectacles story is concerned - Dad always told it from the perspective of the young brother (late teens early twenties) who was taken by the older ones to Ireland. They set themselves up as travelling opticians, tested eyes, gave prescriptions and dispensed glasses. Dad, always looking much older than he was, passed for a Doctor, as perhaps the others did too. They did get lenses made up and though I don't know about the others, Dad knew how to read a prescription, test for short and long sight and astigmatism and knew a little about eye diseases, such as ophthalmic goitre, and some of the underlying causes for them. The only other thing he would say about this period in his life was that they lived in boarding houses, travelling around, and had little to eat except for banana sandwiches. Following Marilyn's story about the parsnips I rather think they may well have been parsnip sandwiches. What a thought….
Marilyn:
Extraordinary - I had heard a whisper of my mother being sent to Dublin as a girl but I had never heard this from my mother - NEVER. I know her mother died when Mummy was seven and that she won a scholarship to high school but was not able to attend because she had to look after grandfather's cafe (near the People's Palace).
I never heard a word from Mummy about her probable years in Ireland. She was born in 1906, so that would have been around 1917. I find that story very strange.
Sue:
I want to add another few thoughts.
Firstly, I realized many years later that I used to get off the bus to school right outside where my grandfather lived. This saddens me to this day of all of the things he missed out on.
My grandparents never divorced. Ironically, they died within four months of each other; he was buried in Dublin and Martha in Liverpool where she had moved to when she went to live with her daughter Sybil.
I took this photograph of Izzy’s grave a few years ago on a visit to Dublin. I had never considered looking for it. I remember the sadness and anger I felt reading the headstone. It mentions his “devoted daughters”. In our opinion, they were never given the opportunity to be his devoted daughters.
My aunt Sybil talked often about Izzy. In the early days of their separation, he used to see his daughters and tried at times to bring them gifts. This did not make Sybil happy who craved his attention rather than gifts. She remembered meeting the Aunts. This eventually stopped when Sybil and Alma were still very young and there was no contact after that. Sybil said he had wonderful hands and could make things. Hats and curtains spring to mind! Obviously, Jack and Harry, Izzy's sons, were very much part of our lives albeit on an occasional rather than a regular basis. We can only assume information would filter through to Sybil and Alma but it was not discussed with us children. Harry was a more regular visitor to our home and always came bearing gifts. For many years, I kept tiny glass animals he gave me but they didn’t survive the move my parents made from Dublin to Manchester in 1983!
In 1964 my mother got a message probably through Jack or Harry Elbery that Izzy had died and his housekeeper, Joan Cashman, was in need of a home. She was a simple Irish country woman who came to live with us as a housekeeper and to look after my three year old sister so my mother could go back to work with my father. Joan had moved to London and at some point lived with Aunty Minnie in Edgware. Anthony and Beverley remember her. But she was very homesick and went back to Ireland. Joan lived with the Finkles until 1983. She died in 2005. She never spoke to Gillian or myself about Izzy and we believe that this was a condition of her new employment. Joan and her friends, who knew him well, talked with Gillan and myself when we met them all in Dublin at Joan’s 100th birthday party. They spoke of him with fondness and this, yet again, caused us much sadness at the loss of the love of a grandfather.